Sorry for the rant that is going to consume this post. I am so burned out with life right now and unmotivated to do anything. We have lived at the village for 4 years now, and it has been wonderful. I am so grateful that we have had the opportunity to be here but I honestly thought we would have moved on by now. It's hard that classes are getting ready to start this year and because I deferred I am sitting the year out. Also some of our greatest friends have moved and so I am missing our great neighbors.
Work is emotionally and physically draining, which is what you expect when dealing with mentally ill kids and teens. I come home tired and too often grumpy. I am trying to figure out how to come home and leave work issues at work. It's been difficult but getting better.
To make the situation worse part of me just wants to hibernate and hang out with my family and friends in my few spare moments instead of expend more energy in trying to establish more friendships when we will only be here another year at the most. I know this exasperates my current situation making me feel even more lonely so I am going to try and change it. I am getting pretty comfortable with the seclusion I have built around myself and it is going to take some effort but I know it will be worth it.
Some of my current habits need to change and some of the things I am going to strive to be more consistent about are:
1. Going to the temple at least once a month. Next year the temples in Cali are not going to be as close nor convenient.
2. Reading my scriptures, so often these get missed as life gets busy.
3. Exercising in the morning.
4. Magnifying my calling, I am on the enrichment committee and I have been struggling with a really bad attitude about it. I know I could have tons of fun and enjoy the sisters I decide to.
5. Attend and make and effort to meet new families at ward and court activities.
These probably seem so simple to many of you, but they are going to take significant effort at least at the beginning for me. Hopefully my motivation will come back and I will stop feeling so lonely.
2 comments:
Sounds frustrating!!! But, I think you're probably harder on yourself than anyone else would be... I think it's amazing you can work with the kids and teens you do and still have energy for your own family... Very impressive!! KNow I'm thinking of you...
Amber, Dude I feel that same way a lot of the time. But it is mostly the walls I build up around my self. I know it has been so hard to move away from you guys. It really is lonely out here too. I think it is really good plans to find ways to strengthen yourself physically and spiritually and in turn I believe you will be happier and be able to do all those other thing you want to. We should work on this together!
Good Luck you can do it!
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